By Bernard Golden
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Additional resources for Healthy Anger: How to Help Children and Teens Manage Their Anger
Satisfying one need or want will always make up for not satisfying another of my needs or desires. I need to have all of my needs met or I will be totally rejected, be abandoned, or even die. Inasmuch as these expectations clearly cannot be satisfied, they predispose not just children but adolescents and adults to quickly respond with anger. In fact, many adults and adolescents experience chronic anger because they have difficulty giving up these unrealistic expectations and expend much time and energy trying to satisfy them.
While these feelings may be targeted toward specific individuals as a social reaction to anger, such people may be predisposed to view others and the world in general with these intensely negative and self-defeating attitudes. Global Outlook The sum effect of anger can greatly impact our general outlook, which influences how we experience anger as well as our understanding of anger and our ability to handle it. At the same time, how we experience anger and manage it further contributes to our global outlook.
Her emotional unavailability may be a result of her needs not being satisfied because of marital conflict, her own depression, family illness, the need to work long hours, or her distraction by feelings surrounding her own parent’s death, to name a few. Even a well-intentioned mother may become distracted when faced with any of these challenges. This situation leads to a weakened connection between parent and child. But the parent-child relationship is very important and has the potential to strongly influence a child’s beliefs about relationships in general.